30 Apr 2005
Goes like this:
Went to stitch and bitch at 3pm (go you good girls!), came home to find both offspring gone to nonna's for a sleepover. Yay! Now comes the sad bit. Take the opportunity to have an uninterrupted massive cleanout of everyone's wardrobe. Fill three huge garbage bags with unwanted summer clothing. Oh, and clean some windows. Curse this huge house with too many windows, what was I thinking when I convinced Alan to move to Chateux le huge mortgage??
Order take-away Indian, (can't usually do this as children won't eat it). Try to teach self Continental knitting (again)while Alan drives to pick it up, dropping the unwanted clothing in the charity bin on the way. Three rows of twisted stitches, ruined guage, almost chew tongue off and grind teeth to the gums.
Enjoy Indian meal. Drink 3 Austrian (yes Austrian not Australian) blonde beers. Reminisce about halcyon days BC (b4 children) when I was working as a barmaid in riverside London pub.
"Excuse me barmaid, but my mate wants to know if they're really all yours" - oh puleeze, did I spend six years at university to listen to this crap?
Q (punter): "Excuse me barmaid but do you know what time this pub closes?" A (me, with one eyebrow raised): "Yair I do, who's next?".
and my alltime favourite...Very very scary local drug dealer who allegedly had just gotten out of jail and was celebrating by having an all-day bender with equally scary mates.."oi barmaid, there's sumfin funny in my pint" He hands me half empty pint of guinness - like his twentieth or something, I hold it up to look in it and he has removed his GLASS EYE!!!! and put it in the bottom of the glass. I almost crap myself. He and his goon mates find it hysterical of course. I kid you not - this actually happened to me.
Return to continental knitting. Realise that the Austrian beer is making me a supreme continental knitter. Get so excited that I knit a full inch past the pattern change. Rip it all back and return to slow old fashioned method.
Gorgeous husband is in the basement (going to be a kids den) painting the walls singing along to REM's "nightswimming" at the top of his voice.
So all's well here - what are you guys up to?