How can I keep it secret if I blog about it?

I stayed at the Marriot in Sydney on Wednesday night with my husband and NO KIDS!!

Naturally, defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory by me falling ill on the morning of the said event. My ankles were swollen up like sausages, (something that did not happen throughout either of my pregnancies) my skin felt tight all the way up to my knees. Cankles - what a good look. Ugh.

I had an itchy red rash and my joints were killing me. Even my eyesockets ached. But I went anyway. The alternative was doing the dinner/bath/bed thing alone.

So we had dinner in the hotel. Nothing to write home about, but a very nice bearnaise ("don't get saucy with me bearnaise" - I kept saying it in a french accent at the table - I crack myself up sometimes) on my bleu steak. Vampire cravings satisfied until my next outing to a restaurant. I'm sure Alan was disappointed as the plan was to have dinner, go for a stroll along the waterfront and drink cocktails in as many trendy bars as we could find before collapsing into the king-size bed for - too much information already??!

Anyway, the beds are the big drawcard at the moment at this hotel. They even have one made up on display in the centre of the foyer. About halfway through my dessert, I felt a little peaky. Alan says to me "you're not feeling too good are you?" - true enough. So, instead of the romantic night like old times we ended up hitting the sack for sleep only at about 10:30.

The next morning Alan had to go into the office early so I slept late in the luxurious king size bed with millions of crisp white fat pillows. When I did get out of bed, my legs wouldn't work. My joints ached, my head was pounding and my eyes were unbelievably sore. The rash had moved and was now covering most of my body. The swelling in the lower legs was worse, if only that were possible. I took a long shower and dressed in some comfortable clothes. I had about four nurofen.

The plan had been to take in the MCA and then have a browse in DJ's and some other fancy shops I never get to see and then a pitstop in Tapestry Craft on the way home. Can you guess which of these was cancelled, and which of these was unmissable? You're right, Tapestry Craft was the only shopping done that day.

So I'm in Tapestry Craft. It is my first time there. It's big. It has Rowan magazines. It has a whole lotta Noro. The place is an evil money hoover. I found me my Rowan 37. I'm always a bit behind, so this is probably old news to you lot, but how magnificent is that butterfly?

what about all the cushions?


and the heirloom bag?

Goodbye hard earned $60


While I was there I couldn't resist the lure of the madil kid seta. The cracksilk haze you have when the shop doesn't stock rowan.

Goodbye hard earned $47.00

So I take my three things up to the register. The salesgirl rings it up on the till:


"That will be a hundred and seven dollars. Is that all for you today?" She drones, bored.

I raise one eyebrow at her (that's my signature - are you kidding me? - look). She finally makes eye contact with me and bursts out laughing. "yes I think that's enough, don't you? - oh wait, I forgot the ten hanks of noro silk garden I need". Thankfully she acknowledges the sarcasm, (she was American - it doesn't alway happen). She takes the money, laughing herself silly the whole time. I say to her on my way out "you know, the kids have to eat boiled rice for dinner now because of this shop". It's not entirely a joke.

I still felt like death, but at least I had dropped $100 that I could ill afford at the yarn shop. Now I felt guilty as well as sick. I wandered through the strand arcade on the way back to the car. I used to have my hair done there, in a salon long gone, when I lived and worked in the city. It was a bit sort of bittersweet - oh long story but there's always a lot of memories when I visit the big smoke.

Can you imagine my shock when I overheard a woman say to her husband (they were having coffee in one of the cafe's in the arcade) "I need something casual to wear for summer, like that" she nods in my direction. I looked over my shoulder, nope nobody else around. Oh my lord, this woman was talking about me!! I don't care that she was about sixty years old. Obviously miopic also, but what the hell.

But anyhow, I took it as a compliment - you get em while you can don't you think?

So Alan gets home from work and says to me "did you get anything today?"

I guess you know you've got a problem when you have to lie. "just that rowan magazine" I say "magazine" because what man would think a magazine could cost sixty dollars? I fail to mention the cracksilk haze lookalike hiding in the cupboard.

But now I've blogged about it. It will be a test to how much attention he pays to this blog if any - I wonder how long it will be before he says anything?

"But I was sick darling. Don't you feel sorry for me?"