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APEC Summit

4 Sep 2007

Unless you've been under a rock in Australia, you'll have noticed the Sydney-centric news coverage of the lockdown on the city for the APEC summit.

It's overwhelming what an enormous impact the 21 visitors will unwittingly be having on the people who live and work in the city. Roads closed, a 3m fence separating them from us, complete closure of the zoo so the spouses can have a look at the new elephants, no access anywhere.

And when George Bush arrives at 9:30 tonight (with a whopping 550 of his own secret service personnel), they say it will be bedlam.

Of course it's been deliberatly organised to cause the greatest disruption possible, and the media have been instructed to make it sounds as bad as they can. This is because the government would like to keep the completeluy free of unauthorised people - but they can't actually come right out and say it like that.

According to news, the Transport Minister puts it like this "The message is very clear - there is nothing to see so please stay away"

That way they can more safely assume that if you're in the area, and you're not a chief or a slave, you're a terrorist or a protester.

So what are they going to talk about at this talkfest? The newspapers say it's all about free trade, oil prices and climate change. A few years ago it was SARS - not that anyone really cared about SARS unless it was going to spread to the western world, which it didn't appear to do. Talking about SARS probably didn't have any effect on the pandemic either, much like talking about climate change won't do much to change climate change.

I myself have a great idea about where they should have held APEC. Woomera is costing us $36m annually, and it's completely empty. Why don't they have the APEC summit out there? Just fly them straight into the paddock next door (it's about 4000 square kilometres, they could just line their jets up like a big parking station).

I can just see the Prime Minister now:

"Yes, Mister Shinzo Abe, this IS Sydney. We're in a drought, don't you know. No, the fishing's not that good at the moment. "

"Yes, President CHEN Shui-bian, there is plenty of room here, it's the perfect spot for immigrants to start their journeys?"

"Yes, Mr Bush, that really is a kangaroo".

They could have a team bonding session where they all learn how to do the Aussie Salute first hand, I'd say there'd be a few flies about out there.

Not to mention the missile test facility - perfect for shooting out any fly-by terrorists. Plus, a place so remote you could guarantee that any passers-by would be bound to be suspicious.

I can see so many advantages - none the least of which if I wanted to go to Tapestry Craft this weekend I could do so without feeling like an escaping convict, consulting three websites and planning a route to avoid any roadblocks or three metre fences.

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