In which she goes on about Al Gore being a hypocrite - and Martha Stewart gets a slap too.

Today's opinion brought to you by the local rag I read yesterday.

I'm going to conduct an economic/ecological experiment in my house, and NOT because it's tres tres fashionable darling. Because I care, I really do, about the state of the environment.

I care at least as much as Toni Collette, who drives a hybrid car when she's at the Sydney one of her several energy sucking homes, and whose lifestyle otherwise contributes untold amounts of carbon emissions by virtue of how much international travel she does. Which, of course, is not her fault, it's her job. If it wasn't for the stupid job she does, she'd be FAR SUPERIOR than you in her energy emissions. She drives a hybrid car. She sings a serious song about carbon emissions. See, MUCH better than you.

I care at least as much as Al Gore, who by working tirelessly to raise the awareness of Al Gore, is raising the awareness of global emissions as a bonus by-product of his own emissions. If it wasn't for the international travel and his energy-astro lifestyle, you wouldn't be able to call him a hypocrite. He too, if it weren't for the fact that he's not, is MUCH better than you at saving the environment.

I hear those new Martha Stewart project homes have been designed deliberately without outdoor clothes drying apparatus. Apparently they're aesthetically on the nose. Well Martha we all know that more electricity used in a house hold equals more class, don't we? After all, it's only the poor/stupid/common who would allow something so horrid as a clothesline in the backyard - I mean just out there for anyone to see. Can you believe some people don't even have the common decency to build a fence around it, what ignorant scum.

Those with any idea about design or aesthetics would know that something so grossly visually unappealing as wet clean clothes or the apparatus for airing such unmentionables must be kept from sight (or better still, not exist at all) lest you be percieved as one of those tawdry laundry-doing ignorant prollies. Whom of course, are the antithesis of style - the completely unruffled, simple, beautiful, effortless and magically clean style of the magazines (and, now that I think about it, some of the blogs I read).

Now, whilst I'm slagging off the huge environmental footprints of the rich and famous, my own emissions have been the source of some personal consternation of late. My house has two air-conditioning systems, one ducted, one reverse cycle. I don't hose the lawn but I do have a leaky swimming pool. I have a massive washing machine, and in spite of what I say above, I do use a clothes dryer fairly often. I only recycle when I can be bothered. I don't compost. I overconsume.

And, I'm completely sick of the 'you're unacceptable' feeling I get from the renovation tv shows, fashion magazines, mailbox catalogues etc., etc., etc. I'm such a sucker - the house will be finished when I get a new deck, new paint, new carpet, new window coverings, new furniture. I don't have anything to wear for the such and such, buy something new. I need a new pair of shoes. The kids need new games for the playstation and wii. New new new new new. I'm so SICK of new.

I've got enough of my shit together. I think it's time I stopped planning my life and started living it.

So, come April 1 - I am going to go three months without buying anything new.

Here are my rules:

Yarn is not included in the deal (well, duh)
If it can be bought from the supermarket I can have it (normal supermarkets, not the central aisle of ALDI)
Ditto the bottle shop
Basic children's clothing is ok.
A single service-type purchase (eg: haircut) is allowed.
If I lose 10 kilos I can buy one outfit.
Second hand from opshops is ok but no ebay.


So, in the lead up to this big non-event, there's two things I realy NEED.

One is Stella McCartney for Target - released tomorrow.

The other is a trug for recycling.

And, in the interests of true disclosure, I fully intend to get these if I save any money in my three month no buy experiment.



Hands up who thinks I can't do it? Hands up who wants to do it with me?