Boudicea

Years ago, my teenage runaway sister had a budgie she named 'fellatio'. Something went wrong (as it happens) in a rental flat somewhere and she ended up living back at home. The budgie came home with her.

My mum spent a lot of time wandering around the house calling 'fellatio, fellatio' in a high pitched sing song voice when we let the thing out for a fly around. My sister and I (nine months and six weeks apart in age) spent a lot of time pissing ourselves laughing at her. As did dad as I recall.

How did she find out? She went to lunch with the David Jones china and glass ladies (where she worked) and told them stories of fellatio's antics. I presume someone informed her there. She was not amused. This only made the whole situation funnier.

There was a song on the radio called 'space invaders' and I remember she thought it was 'baked potatoes'.

We thought she was such a dork.

It is a sad fact that I'm sure she hexed us many times over the years, for I believe that every day I get more like her.

For example: I thought that Nancy Bush was George's wife. Not for a long time, mind, but for long enough for it to be embarrassing.

There's a song on the radio - it goes, 'suddenly I see, this is what I want to be, suddenly I see, why the hell it means so much to me' - it's not a great song.

There is a line in it 'got the power to be, the power to give, the power to be the power to see yeah yeah'

I thought it was 'got the power to see the power to be the power to give the power of Boudicea'

I like my version better. But I am still becoming a dorky mother.