What do I do now?

What do you all DO in the night if you don’t smoke cigarettes?????

I only used to smoke after the kids went to bed. Never in the day. Never ever inside the house. None of my work colleagues would ever consider me a smoker, unless of course I was drunk – which I rarely am at work.

But after the kids were asleep I’d sit outside and smoke fags and knit like a madwoman. And I loved it. It was like the unwind trigger, I would smoke and smoke and knit and knit and count stitches like an autistic savant.

So now I don’t smoke any more. The hours drag on forever in the evenings. I don’t watch much TV, we turn it on to watch a program and turn it off afterwards. After the kids go to bed if it’s not House or Survivor I barely notice it. That was because I was always outside.

Now that I am inside I don’t know what to do with myself. There’s still knitting of course, but I haven’t got a proper comfortable knitting spot in the house – I’ll have to work on that. There’s the internet – and I’m developing a penchant for stupid online games.

So now I am faced with the endless evenings. And when I finally do go to bed, I can’t sleep. I’ve been tossing and turning till 2 am all week. I would say it was some sort of withdrawal symptom probably – and that scares me. I’m also too scared to have a drink in case I lose what self control I do have and race of to the servo for 20 winnie silver. I joined weight watchers as well. I don’t do things by halves you know. And I’ve started to exercising again.

You know what I feel like?? I feel like the world’s most boring woman.