Finding your tribe
31 Jul 2005
So yesterday was snb. New venue, new faces and lots of fun. I even had a bloody mary with my knitting - cool. At yesterday's meeting there were SIX knitbloggers! I met Donna and Justine in the flesh so along with the tiger, donni, ruby girl and myself there were six of us. Vive la knitting blog community!
When I got home I had a stark revelation. I have found my tribe! It's not just the knitting either, although having that in common is a great start, there's more than that.
I would have met Sharon anyway, she lives across the road after all. I would have waved and smiled on the odd occasion when I saw her loading/unloading the kids/groceries out of the car. I can't say for sure I would have ducked over there at least four times a week like I do now, poking my head through the back door (the back door! you know you're a proper friend when you can do that!) offering scones, coffee or enquiring about a knitting pattern or whether she's up for the walk we have been taking lately. No I can't say we would have been on those terms if it weren't for snb. Strange really, that being neighbours is no longer a pre-requisite to getting to know someone like it would have been for women in the fifties say.
Ditto Donni. I would have walked past her market stall on Fridays in the mall. I more than likely would have looked at her wares. If I didn't knit I probably wouldn't have talked to her as much as I did on our first meeting but our paths would have crossed anyway. So the knitting brought us together (like a cosmic force in the grand plan of our lives). Donni to me now is the only person (including my mother) who has ever said to me "You look tired. I'll take Blair for the afternoon and you can have a rest". I almost cried on the spot I was so moved by this simple act of kindness.
In a way, these blogs enable us to get to know each other more deeply than if we just met for coffee at playgroup or whatever. For example, if you saw Sharon and her husband walking down the street together you would immediately know there was a strong and triumphant history there between those two. (Go to her blog, it's not my story to tell.) But if she were only my neighbour, I would never have asked her about it: way too intrusive, impolite and possibly cause her embarrassment - the fear of which holds us all back in lots of ways. Reading her story on the blog is a bit like reading her mind and it tells much much more about someone than the spoken word could ever hope to communicate. I feel like I know Sharon better than I know some friends I have had for twenty years. Because I can read her mind you see.
I myself put much more personal things down in this forum than I would chatting to my friends over coffee. Strange really, given that it is so public. I think it's the anonymity, you can write anything you like and you can't see the reaction of people reading it. In real life, if you said something offensive or inappropriate or raved on for too long about your feelings about this or that, you could tell by the reaction whether you needed to get a cork in it. People may read and snigger over the blogs, but they rarely make a snide comment telling you to pull your head in.
As a result of this, people who read these blogs are getting the real deal about the writer, and they can take it or leave it. The written voice is a truer reflection of what someone is like as a person than any impression you may get from meeting them in the flesh.
So, anyway, I came home from snb and tried to explain all this to my husband. He is happy that I am happy, but he doesn't really get it. When I am with my knitting friends, (and I mean not only the ones mentioned here but all the others as well) I always come home from snb thinking "that was great. I would like to spend some more time with x person or y person, I really enjoyed their company today."
Let me tell you it is a complete turnaround from what I normally say when I return from a group situation (take school canteen committe meetings for example - likely to lead to the expulsion of my child if I said what I really thought about those people). Usually I come home with all sorts of complicated rants about my appearance, my overbearing personality, my loudness, my impatience with stupidity and the enormous amount of it I was forced to endure.
I never never never feel this after snb. I always return feeling energised, inspired and positive. Yesterday my husband thought I was drunk. Sadly he was mistaken. I wasn't drunk, I was just happy. I have found my tribe at last.
PS:
And I have some knitting to show you as well. When I'm up to it.
And there are pictures of us too on the other blogs, go check them out.
When I got home I had a stark revelation. I have found my tribe! It's not just the knitting either, although having that in common is a great start, there's more than that.
I would have met Sharon anyway, she lives across the road after all. I would have waved and smiled on the odd occasion when I saw her loading/unloading the kids/groceries out of the car. I can't say for sure I would have ducked over there at least four times a week like I do now, poking my head through the back door (the back door! you know you're a proper friend when you can do that!) offering scones, coffee or enquiring about a knitting pattern or whether she's up for the walk we have been taking lately. No I can't say we would have been on those terms if it weren't for snb. Strange really, that being neighbours is no longer a pre-requisite to getting to know someone like it would have been for women in the fifties say.
Ditto Donni. I would have walked past her market stall on Fridays in the mall. I more than likely would have looked at her wares. If I didn't knit I probably wouldn't have talked to her as much as I did on our first meeting but our paths would have crossed anyway. So the knitting brought us together (like a cosmic force in the grand plan of our lives). Donni to me now is the only person (including my mother) who has ever said to me "You look tired. I'll take Blair for the afternoon and you can have a rest". I almost cried on the spot I was so moved by this simple act of kindness.
In a way, these blogs enable us to get to know each other more deeply than if we just met for coffee at playgroup or whatever. For example, if you saw Sharon and her husband walking down the street together you would immediately know there was a strong and triumphant history there between those two. (Go to her blog, it's not my story to tell.) But if she were only my neighbour, I would never have asked her about it: way too intrusive, impolite and possibly cause her embarrassment - the fear of which holds us all back in lots of ways. Reading her story on the blog is a bit like reading her mind and it tells much much more about someone than the spoken word could ever hope to communicate. I feel like I know Sharon better than I know some friends I have had for twenty years. Because I can read her mind you see.
I myself put much more personal things down in this forum than I would chatting to my friends over coffee. Strange really, given that it is so public. I think it's the anonymity, you can write anything you like and you can't see the reaction of people reading it. In real life, if you said something offensive or inappropriate or raved on for too long about your feelings about this or that, you could tell by the reaction whether you needed to get a cork in it. People may read and snigger over the blogs, but they rarely make a snide comment telling you to pull your head in.
As a result of this, people who read these blogs are getting the real deal about the writer, and they can take it or leave it. The written voice is a truer reflection of what someone is like as a person than any impression you may get from meeting them in the flesh.
So, anyway, I came home from snb and tried to explain all this to my husband. He is happy that I am happy, but he doesn't really get it. When I am with my knitting friends, (and I mean not only the ones mentioned here but all the others as well) I always come home from snb thinking "that was great. I would like to spend some more time with x person or y person, I really enjoyed their company today."
Let me tell you it is a complete turnaround from what I normally say when I return from a group situation (take school canteen committe meetings for example - likely to lead to the expulsion of my child if I said what I really thought about those people). Usually I come home with all sorts of complicated rants about my appearance, my overbearing personality, my loudness, my impatience with stupidity and the enormous amount of it I was forced to endure.
I never never never feel this after snb. I always return feeling energised, inspired and positive. Yesterday my husband thought I was drunk. Sadly he was mistaken. I wasn't drunk, I was just happy. I have found my tribe at last.
PS:
And I have some knitting to show you as well. When I'm up to it.
And there are pictures of us too on the other blogs, go check them out.
posted by knitabulous at Sunday, July 31, 2005 |
