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Name: knitabulous
Location: Mt Keira, New South Wales, Australia

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Waiting Room

29 May 2007

Yesterday I went to the doctor's, something which I try to actively avoid, since I don't much believe in them**. I don't even have a family doctor, I just go to the nearest medical centre and take my chances in the draw.

When my name came up, I was pleased to see that I had been selected by Dr Churn. That's not his name, btw, that's his consulting characteristic. I was pleased because I knew it would be quick.

I went there for a regular prescription and a referral to a reconstructive/plastic/cosmetic surgeon (in case you don't know, I have a boob rock* the size of an orange - lime and violet have nothing on me) . Every few years I go and visit a surgeon to discuss an operation I will never be able to afford, just to fantasise about how nice it would be to get a good result if I ever did find the money.

He obliges and then says 'is that all?'

I said, 'Oh and my ear is full of fluid again' he says 'what do you mean' I do my ear party trick where I blow air through it, he says 'you have a perforated eardrum' I say 'I know' he says 'how long has it been like that' I say 'at least a year' he says 'you need to see a specialist' I say 'bugger off'. I then say 'there's no pain, what's the problem' he says 'middle ear infections in adults can be painless' I say 'so what do I need a specialist for' he says 'it could damage your hearing' I say 'it already has, and besides I wouldn't wear a hearing aid anyway' he says 'will you go to the specialist if I refer you' I say 'probably not, but if it makes you feel better give me the letter'.

I then had to spell check and grammar check it, and make jokes whilst doing so about protecting his credibility/reputation with the consultant. Judging by his reaction, I think he would have preferred it if I was there for the methadone like everyone else.

So I have a perforated ear drum. Again.

*It really pisses me off that lime and violet set up a donation campaign on their podcast - just for her to get a bunch of tests she probably doesn't need and possibly a boob job on the proceeds - why didn't I think of that???
I have been told if it's not cancer (which it wasn't last time they checked) then removing it would classify as cosmetic surgery as there is no need for an operation if it isn't life threatening. Having one boob almost double the size of the other is not considered a medical problem according to medicare in Australia. If I want it fixed, I'll have to pay. About fifteen grand.

** I have no medical experience, so my opinions as to the necessity or otherwise of medical procedures is based only on my mistrust of some of the profession in general. Socially, I haven't met a doctor I didn't like.

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