Sometimes I am a bit of a paradox. I presume most people who know me would say that I was and outgoing and confident person. I would say I am a loudmouth who speaks first, thinks later and often puts her foot in it. I am compassionate and tolerant (but I can't tolerate intolerance) and quite sure of myself on an intellectual level. But the appearance, well, I just am not that confident on that front. However, a few bizzare things have happened to me over the past weeks have made me downright paraniod about my looks.Thing 1 - I got mistaken for a twelve year old girl.
At the fibre festival thingo recently, I was chatting away to Kerrie of handspun glory fame when this delightful old duck dressed in an amazing handknitted ankle length coat of riotous colours approached me.
Lovely old duck: "my, aren't you growing up?"
Me (racking champagne soaked brain for a memory. Nothing. I thought maybe she was one of my high school teachers or something): "Um, where do you know me from?"
She became confused and looked at Kerrie, "isn't this the little girl who works in your shop?"
Kerrie - laughing like mad: "who, Julia!!? No, no, this is not Julia"
Me (to Kerrie): "How old is Julia, since she is growing up so nicely?"
Kerrie: "she's twelve!"
Imagine that, being mistaken for a twelve year old! I mean I have E cup boobs for heavens sake!
Methinks lovely old duck may have early onset dementia!Thing 2 - a hairdresser's view of my current hairstyle
The following Friday I go to a five year old girl's birthday party at Hungry Jacks (well actually, I don't go, but my four year old goes and she doesn't drive. pity.)
During the cake cutting and singing of Happpy Birtday to you this happens:
Acquaintance (who happens to be a hairdresser): "Ailsa, come here for a second"
Me (grave mistake. I go over to her.)
Acquaintance: "I'm looking for models for my salon. We're doing some training and I'm getting a master cutter in to demonstrate a haircut. Then me and my apprentice will re-do the haircut, with the master cutter supervising. I think you'd be a great candidate for this because.............(wait for it)...................
YOUR HAIR IS DOING NOTHING FOR YOU HANGING DOWN AROUND YOUR FACE LIKE THAT."
Me: "Oh, don't look at it now! I haven't done a thing to it today"
Acquaintance: "but even when we were out the other night and it was done, I still think we could give you a better look - couldn't we Karen?"
Karen (she's a beauty ferapist - she told me so - does anyone know what that is?): "Yes I think you should do it"
Me: "excuse me I have to go now"
Later I enter the birthday girls house with kids in tow for a drink with the parents - I make a cluttering and noisy entrance - "Sorry I'm late, I had to go home and put this hat on because that hairdresser friend of yours said my hair looked SHIT"
Naturally hairdresser friend is sitting on the couch. I didn't see her when I came in. Oops.
Anyway I went on Tuesday night and had the extreme makeover. The master cutter snipped away for an hour and not a single person has noticed a difference in my haircut yet.Thing 3 - I don't have a gap like this. Apparently you're supposed to.
Head over to the knitting revolutionary
and find out what this is about.
I'd put the emoticon of a paper bag over the head but it won't work. dang these newfangled gadgets!